Our final demands

Well, the election is less than week away. Shuler is up in the polls, he didn't crumble under the pressure and drop out of the race during our interview, and Norv Turner won't even talk to us.

We think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part, and well, we're just the guys to do it. Therefore, we are issuing the following communique from Stop Shuler HQ:

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StopShuler.com Demands Media Stop Referring to Congressional Candidate Heath Shuler as "Former NFL Quarterback"
"Failed NFL Quarterback" or "Former College Quarterback" More Accurate

November 1, 2006 – StopShuler.com, a website dedicated to keeping Heath Shuler out of Washington and therefore away from the Redskins, demanded today that the news media stop referring to North Carolina Congressional candidate Heath Shuler as a "Former NFL Quarterback" or, even worse, a "former Redskins Quarterback," calling these descriptions "inaccurate," "biased," and "deeply offensive."

"By any objective measurement, Heath Shuler was a terrible NFL quarterback," says the site. "The media should not refer to Shuler as a 'former NFL quarterback' any more than they refer to Michael Jordan as a 'former professional baseball player.' Why describe him as something he completely failed at?"

The site suggests several alternatives, all of which are more accurate:

• Failed NFL QB
• Former college QB
• Real Estate Magnate
• Tool of San Francisco liberals (suggested by opponent's campaign)
• Failed former college and NFL quarterback who also failed in the west coast offense (suggested by Heath Shuler himself in his interview with StopShuler.com)

If the StopShuler.com's demands are not met, the site says, they will whine incessantly to anyone with in earshot. Even more than usual.

For more information, please visit www.stopshuler.com.

About StopShuler.com
Stop Shuler has been the premier destination on the web to discuss Heath Shuler's football career since January of 2006. Featured in the Washington City Paper, by the Associated Press, in Sports Illustrated, and Deadspin, the site offers a fresh perspective on the Congressional race in North Carolina's 11th district. Does anybody actually read this part of a press release?

Comments

[tadcranky]

Excellent strategy. I'm fully supportive, and I'm confident that you'll also have the support of the four or five people who read my blog.

[I'mBillMcNeal]

Until I ran across this on Deadspin, I hadn't heard Shuler was running.
And then I was surprised to hear he's a Democrat. Ex-jocks who run for public office have tended to be far-right, conservative Republicans.