Let’s start off by saying that we don’t like the New York Times. We don’t like it mostly because of the New Yorkers we know — who love to talk about how great the Times is, how they can’t get any decent bagels in this town, and that Eli Manning is the second coming of Joe Montana. We’re Washington Post people — screw the Times, they don’t even have a comics section.

Anyway, in November, the Times did a puff piece on Shuler’s campaign, which was when most people first heard that he was running. Some interesting tidbits:

• “He wears his N.F.L. alumni ring almost everywhere he goes.”
• How does he feel about his time in DC? "I wouldn’t change it." Seriously. Apparently, sucking in the NFL helped him “deal with the negative.”
• In the “you’ve got to be kidding me” category, he refuses to drink carbonated beverages. This is because he pledged his dad in the fifth grade that he wouldn’t drink soda, apparently for health reasons. The kicker? Once, in middle school, he collapsed from dehydration, but refused a Coke.

So, the conclusion? He has no shame (wearing the ring), lies through his teeth (“no, seriously, I loved being hated by a whole town”), and won’t be getting any donations from his local Coca-Cola bottler.

Read the article (it now costs money, because the NY Times are punks)