Stop Shuler

Well, that was fun. With Shuler not only elected to Congress, but also re-elected, I have no plans to update this site again. However, I do own recallshuler.com, so I reserve the right to change my mind. If you want to continue to read about my continued obsession with the mid-90’s Redskins, you can catch me at The Coach Is KILLING Me.

Otherwise, go to the “About Us” links to the right to take a walk down memory lane, or you can just start reading everything in reverse order.

Some things you just can't make up.

Back in January, we reported
that Heath Shuler would be playing in RFK for the Congressional
baseball game, a completely appalling situation that was only slightly
rectified by the fact that we got a funny quote in Roll Call. As the
game got closer, there were numerous reports about how the Democrats had high hopes for Shuler:

But
clearly the party's great hope is former Redskin Heath Shuler, newly
elected from North Carolina's 11th District. "He's hit about three or
four out of the ballpark in practice. It's hard to believe he was just
a quarterback, he looks like a linebacker. The problem is he can't run"
– owing to a career-ending foot injury. "He's either going to hit a
home run or a single, then we have to get him a pinch runner," said
Doyle.

OK — high hopes for Shuler before he plays. Check.

The game was on Monday night, and in a shocking development, Shuler somehow managed to not rise to the occasion:

Expectations
were great for Rep. Heath Shuler, of North Carolina, who played
quarterback in the NFL. But a foot injury relegated him to be a
designated hitter, and he struck out every time.

Injury. Check.

Crapping in the bed at RFK. Check.

Is it 1995 again?

We kinda figured that as of November 8, our work was done. But Shuler keeps rearing his draft-bust head.

First, some good news when we found out that his office is on the fifth floor of the four-floor Cannon building (Ex-Redskin Shuler again an outsider in Washington – The Washington Times).

Things went down hill as we read an interview in SI where he talks about the "positive response" he has gotten from the people of DC. Come on, people! You should chant "We Want Gus" as he walks down the street! A little help here!

Then, to our Horror, we read this in Roll Call:

Shuler Will Return to RFK in ’07

He may not have made any Pro Bowls or been elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, but Democrats are hoping freshman Rep. Heath Shuler (D-N.C.) still shares some athletic similarities with former Rep. Steve Largent (R-Okla.).

We’ll find out this summer when Shuler returns to his old stomping grounds at Robert F. Kennedy Memorial Stadium for the 46th Annual Roll Call Congressional Baseball Game.

[Shuler] is looking forward to returning to RFK, the Redskins’ former home.

“I guess the good thing is it can’t any worse from when I played there last,” he said. “I’m looking forward to redeeming myself.”

When we started this site, it was all about keeping Shuler away from the Redskins. Apparently, we underestimated the ability of a lone website concentrating on a single irrelevant issue to influence the outcome of a Congressional campaign. Not only did Shuler win, but the Redskins went 5-11 (coincidence? We think not). And now, this final slap in the face.

The good news is that Roll Call believes in telling both sides of story:

[O]thers predict only negatives for Shuler and his team.

Jason Woodmansee, the blogger behind StopShuler.com during the campaign, recalled Shuler being “booed mercilessly” during his last game at RFK Stadium and warned the Democrats against using the one-time quarterback.

“Using history as a guide, he will hold out until he gets what he wants — maybe better committee assignments and a bill passed that strips Charlie Ward of the 1993 Heisman Trophy,” Woodmansee joked. “When he finally plays, his first pitch will be intercepted and returned for a touchdown, he will injure himself in his second game and be replaced by an unheralded Congressman out of Oklahoma who will perform much better. And then he’ll blame the whole thing on [Speaker] Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) being a ‘rookie coach.’”

Oh, snap!

We’re thinking that we may need to have a Stop Shuler field trip to the baseball game, and taunt and heckle Shuler, just like the old days. Who’s with us?

Well, as you may have heard, Heath Shuler was elected to Congress today.

Back in January, when we found out Heath Shuler was running for Congress, we thought, "wouldn’t it be funny to oppose his bid, purely on football reasons?" We think the conclusion, after all of this, is yes. Yes it was.

We did this for the cause of comedy. No higher ideals,no politics, nothing very noble. Technically, we are not residents of DC (we prefer sunny San Diego these days). Technically, we are Democrats. Even more technically, we are more liberal than Heath Shuler. And while we are dealing in technicalities, our family wants us back.

We learned lots of things along the way.

We realized that we’re glad that we don’t live in North Carolina’s 11th Congressional district. Not just because we lack "mountain values," but because of who they had to choose from in this election. As much as we made fun of Heath Shuler for his football career, as a politician he really seemed like an empty suit. That being said, his opponent, Charles Taylor, was a rich old crook who had problems being even remotely appealing. It is amazing what happens when you start to look at the details of a specific Congressional election — it’s rather depressing, to be honest.

We’ve definitely learned that Deadspin rules. Nothing was a bigger influence in our traffic or our publicity they were. Thanks, Will.

Finally, we’ve learned that you people are cheap — we only made $12 off the Stop Shuler Store. Thanks for nothing.

So what now? Do we protest Heath when he comes to DC? (We have had some feelers out to the good folks at Kissing Suzy Kolber about that) Do we do what we can to keep him away from the Redskins?

No, our work is done here. It was a good run, but we’ve got other things to worry about.

Good night, and good luck.

——————–

Here are the key posts to catch up on, if you so choose:

• The Why. (The Stop Shuler Manifesto)
• The facts. (The Shuler Record)
• Buy a bumper sticker! (The Stop Shuler Store)
• We go negative. (A Better Day, The Shuler Record)
• Finally, an explanation. ("Every day but Sunday, I’m going to give 110%")
• We get a not-so-exclusive interview. (Heath Shuler Speaks!)
• Norv adds nothing (Norv Turner can’t handle the truth)
• Contact us. (stopshuler@stopshuler.com)

When we chose to start this cause, we didn’t realize we’d end up following the twists and turns of one of the more idiotic races in recent memory. Remember the whole debate thing, where Shuler couldn’t do it because he doesn’t work on Sundays? Well, they finally set up a debate — a radio debate. How did it go? Before we tell you, just remember that both candidates are using the same playbook:

1. Pretend you want a debate
2. Find some way of not having a debate
3. Blame the other guy not having a debate

After the jump, you can read each side’s version of #3. Please note — those with a weak stomach for political double talk may not want to bother.

Bah — we hope they both lose.

continue reading…

Well, the election is less than week away. Shuler is up in the polls, he didn’t crumble under the pressure and drop out of the race during our interview, and Norv Turner won’t even talk to us.

We think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part, and well, we’re just the guys to do it. Therefore, we are issuing the following communique from Stop Shuler HQ:

————————————————–

StopShuler.com Demands Media Stop Referring to Congressional Candidate Heath Shuler as "Former NFL Quarterback"
"Failed NFL Quarterback" or "Former College Quarterback" More Accurate

November 1, 2006 – StopShuler.com, a website dedicated to keeping Heath Shuler out of Washington and therefore away from the Redskins, demanded today that the news media stop referring to North Carolina Congressional candidate Heath Shuler as a "Former NFL Quarterback" or, even worse, a "former Redskins Quarterback," calling these descriptions "inaccurate," "biased," and "deeply offensive."

"By any objective measurement, Heath Shuler was a terrible NFL quarterback," says the site. "The media should not refer to Shuler as a ‘former NFL quarterback’ any more than they refer to Michael Jordan as a ‘former professional baseball player.’ Why describe him as something he completely failed at?"

The site suggests several alternatives, all of which are more accurate:

• Failed NFL QB
• Former college QB
• Real Estate Magnate
• Tool of San Francisco liberals (suggested by opponent’s campaign)
• Failed former college and NFL quarterback who also failed in the west coast offense (suggested by Heath Shuler himself in his interview with StopShuler.com)

If the StopShuler.com’s demands are not met, the site says, they will whine incessantly to anyone with in earshot. Even more than usual.

For more information, please visit www.stopshuler.com.

About StopShuler.com
Stop Shuler has been the premier destination on the web to discuss Heath Shuler’s football career since January of 2006. Featured in the Washington City Paper, by the Associated Press, in Sports Illustrated, and Deadspin, the site offers a fresh perspective on the Congressional race in North Carolina’s 11th district. Does anybody actually read this part of a press release?

After our landmark interview with Heath Shuler the other day, we figured it would be only fair if we asked Shuler’s former coach, Norv Turner, to comment on what Heath had to say. Sure, he may be busy preparing the mighty 49ers offense for another ass-kicking, but we figured that he’d want to refute some things. Well, here’s what happened:

——————–

From: Stop Shuler
Sent: Monday, October 30, 2006 9:44 AM
To: [PR Guy #1, San Francisco 49ers]; [PR Guy #2, San Francisco 49ers]
Subject: Request for comment from Norv Turner

As you may be aware, one of Coach Turner’s proteges, Heath Shuler, is
running for Congress in North Carolina. We interviewed him this
weekend,and asked him why he failed in the NFL. While he did not
completely throw Turner under the bus, he at least got him hit by a
mirror. Some quotes:

"Coach Turner was a rookie like a lot of us."
"I’m sure the coach looks back and feels there were things he would change."
"He asked me ‘Are you ready?’ — What was I supposed to say?"

So, we would love to get Norv Turner’s official opinion on why Shuler
was a bust in the NFL. Considering that Gus Frerrote got in the Pro
Bowl under Turner’s tutelage in 1996 (while Shuler was still on the
team) we think that maybe it wasn’t all about the lack of surrounding
talent and poor coaching.

Obviously, we understand that he is rather busy. All we would need is 10
minutes to ask him why Shuler wasn’t successful and see if he would
like to comment on Shuler’s statements.

Thank you for your time, and would appreciate any help you can provide.

Sincerely,

Stop Shuler
www.stopshuler.com

——————–

We only had to wait a few hours for the response:

——————–

From: [PR Guy #1, San Francisco 49ers]
Date: Oct 30, 2006 1:27 PM
Subject: RE: Request for comment from Norv Turner
To: Stop Shuler, [PR Guy #2, San Francisco 49ers]

We will decline this request.

——————–

Well, there you have it — Norv Turner is obviously afraid to talk to us. Or, he’s pissed about us calling him Norv (bleep)ing Turner in our TV ad. Either way, we have neither the time nor the inclination to explain ourselves to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom we provide, then questions the manner in which we provide it. But that’s just us.

So, a few weeks ago, we sent a playful email to Shuler’s press guy, asking for an interview. We didn’t think anything would come of it, to be honest. In fact, we were thinking of turning it into a part of the site like, "Why won’t Heath Shuler face the truth?" or "Day 12 of Shuler ignoring us" or something.

So, we were a bit surprised when he called us on Saturday.

The full interview is after the break, but here is the summary:

Like any good politician, he has his talking points down about why he failed in the NFL (here’s another interview where he said pretty much the same stuff). They are:

• The team wasn’t very good
• Washington wasn’t the right system
• Norv put him in before he was ready
• He was just getting on track in New Orleans when injuries finally derailed his career.

Talking to him, we believe he is sincere in believing that he was just a victim of bad luck. It’s not surprising — there aren’t a whole lot of athletes that are going to come out and say, "you know what, I just wasn’t very talented." He’s a bit delusional, but not in a bitter or paranoid way — he only threw Norv under one wheel of the bus.

He tried to twist around the idea that he would curse the Redskins if he came back to DC (or that he already is cursing them) by suggesting that if he got elected, perhaps he would reverse whatever curse he planted on the team the first time around. It was a nice effort.

He claims that he finds this site funny, entertaining, and a good thing. We don’t know if we completely believe that either — if he had called us "ungrateful little pricks holding a grudge" or something, he wouldn’t have looked very Congressional. Nonetheless, he laughed at our jokes, and only really tightened up when we accused him of being stupid.

Oh, and he and his wife struggle to come up with baby names, which is how they ended up with "Navy" and "Island."

continue reading…

One of the main points of the Stop Shuler Manifesto is that the Redskins are finally getting things right, and having Heath Shuler back in town could screw all that up. Yes, we know, it’s not really deep stuff, like proposing to give the workers the control of the means of production or anything. Nonetheless, today, after watching the Redskins fall to 2-5 and not have any aspect of the team look good, we’re starting to wonder if there is a slight flaw in our theory. Maybe the Redskins aren’t any better off now than when Shuler was on the team. Except for two seasons (1999 & 2005), the team has pretty much looked bad for the last 14 years. Perhaps Shuler was just one of many things that went wrong, like Norv Turner, Steve Spurrier, Deion Sanders, Jeff George, Michael Westbrook, Tony Banks, and so on and so on.

A reporter once asked us if, we were Charlie Casserly back in 1994, what would we do? You could say "take Trent Dilfer" — he at least was competent to win Super Bowl, even if he didn’t contribute much. You could say "trade the pick" — but who knows what you would get. We said, "draft Peyton Manning." Now, we’re pretty sure you can’t pick a guy and wait four years for him to graduate (we know that the Celtics did a similar thing with Larry Bird, drafting him his junior year and waiting a year until he was able to play), but it would have been the right move, with the benefit of hindsight. Watching Manning take apart the Redskins (and appear in about 96 commercials) today, it does make us wonder.

Or, we suppose, we could decide to believe that EVERYTHING that has gone wrong with the Redskins since 1994 is Heath Shuler’s fault, and maybe even start talking about "The Shuler Curse."

We’ll have to sleep on it.